Or a lot.

My best friend Elizabeth told me once told me (or yelled) “You just love to be entertained!” I had just left a Rangers game at Madison Square Garden and proposed the idea that maybe I was a sports fan after all.

She was right, I was not. Ever since I can remember, I have LOVED being an audience member to movies, tv shows, books, theater, concerts and my parents’ light stand up comedy routines during dinner after a long day at work. (Definitely not a sports person, I just like when celebrities are shown on the jumbotron).

My love of being entertained led me to want to be the entertain-ee. In a small town, that means becoming a reporter at the local news station. The DRAMA. Earning my in degree Journalism (with a minor in Entertainment Media, don’t you forget it) carved me into a connoisseur of pop culture and current events, all certified by one piece of paper and thousands of dollars in debt.

My journey to from there to now has not been linear.

I had a horrible start to school at Illinois State University. To escape what felt like a jail sentence, and pursue what I thought would be the biggest dream I’d ever accomplish, I enrolled in the Disney College Program. There, I learned that the stories and fairytales that make me so happy, make millions of other people very happy, too. The ultimate storytelling machine, Disney. I had to be a part of it.

One day, we were overstaffed where I worked, Quick Service Food and Beverage Restaurant “Columbia Harbour House” and was told to stand outside and sing “Happy Birthday” to guests wearing celebration buttons. I met a woman wearing a “Celebrating 20 years at Disney” button. She was an Ad Sales Rep from ABC7 Chicago. So I lied. I told her I was from Chicago, too. She offered to give me a tour of the studio when I was back from my program.

The first thing I did when I moved back home wasm

1. Drop out of Illinois State University

2. Email this woman and ask if her offer still stood.

It was a dream. The studio, not the three hour car ride I spent convincing my Mom I wasn’t going to get kidnapped in downtown Chicago. This woman showed me kindness, let me sit behind the news desk and answered every question I had written down in my notebook that had foil embossed “you go girl” on the front. I waved goodbye to the ABC building from the window of the car, thinking I probably would never step foot in a studio as large as that ever again.

Months later, while woefully attending classes at community college, I met another woman who would change my life. Nancy Lee was 81 years old and the director of Miss Blackhawk Valley for over 40 years, a local preliminary competition to Miss America. Our paths crossed when my high school best friend asked if I would participate in the pageant. One candidate had dropped out two weeks before the competition, and the show would no longer go on if they couldn’t find someone to replace her. Being heroic (and with promise that I would be treated to ice cream afterwards) I entered. I was excited for a night entertainment provided by muah, wearing three of my friend’s old prom dresses, singing Adele’s “Remedy,” and an interview where I would talk exclusively about how much I loved Disney, Illinois and local news.

I won.

After the competition Nancy approached me and my shocked parents for the first time and said, “I would have been happy with anyone, but I’m so surprised it was you.”

I thought this lady and I were going to fight. Especially after she told me I had to compete in the state competition, Miss Illinois.

But what actually happened was I went to her house a few days later to make a decision between declining the title that I was so graciously awarded (and felt like I had stolen from 3 other girls) or keep my pride and get bullied by 27 supermodels for a week at Miss Illinois. She sat me down in her basement (which actually served a sewing room and home the world largest collection of gowns) and asked me,

“Well, do you want to go to Miss Illinois and have fun, or do you want to win?”

Jaw drop. Me? Win? I was a college dropout who saw no happy future for herself beyond sitting behind the WQAD-TV desk rattling off traffic reports and secretly day dreaming about what it would be like to step on a movie set, or write the next New York Times Best seller.

I told her “I can’t win.”

She replied very matter of factly. “Yes you can, you’re just going to have to work really hard.”

Her belief in the remote possibility that I had a chance of winning, convinced me to at least compete.

Fast forward and spoiler, before I get your hopes I did not win. Obviously, I’m writing what happened in real life, not writing out a screenplay. But for once real life turned out actually better than the movie one I imagined, and winning was not the best thing that could have happened. The best thing that happened is we became a budget production of Miss Congeniality. Nancy was Michael Caine and I was Sandra Bullock.

GO BACK to the months of leading up to Miss Illinois, I would stop by Nancy’s house every few weeks to "prep” for state. She would start out our time together by telling me things like “you should really do something with your hair when you leave the house” (fair) and “I don’t think that stretched out peach sweatshirt is a good color on you” (true). Then our conversations led to her sharing stories about her time as a nurse in a teaching hospital, her mission work in Costa Rica, the one-room school house she attended k-8th grade in, how she started a costume shop above her garage for our community theater (MORE gowns?) and the duets she would sing with her daughter before she suffered vocal damage.

I slowly realized everything she did was really for someone else.

When I told her I couldn’t afford voice lessons, she told me “don’t think about that,” and drove me a half hour each way to her favorite voice teacher every week for two months leading up to competition. And paid.

(On our way to one of the lessons we hit a squirrel, but thats a funny story for another post).

When I graduated with my Associates Degree, she gave me a pair of silver tear drop earrings (that’s the shape of earrings that frames my round face the best according to her), and told me she was proud of me.

When I competed at Miss Illinois that summer and completely tanked the dress rehearsal for my talent, she met me backstage and handed me a kleenex for my tears.

“I can’t do this.”

“Well, you’re going to have to,” she said simply.

The world did not end that night. And my performance was kind of not terrible. My Mom cried (sucker).

In the fall when I transferred to Augustana College to get my four year degree, Nancy said she was nervous for me. I never had to tell her about my terrible time at Illinois State, she just understood that I didn’t enjoy school. Before I started she introduced me to a professor friend of hers at Augie. I was going back to school, terrified, but thank God I had two 81 year old friends by my side.

One afternoon when we were catching up over over lunch (Panera was a favorite), she pried it out of me that I wanted to write and work in the big, fancy entertainment industry. Not the local news.

She was the first person in my life that didn’t act like it was an impossible dream. She listened and encouraged me to ask my professor how to pursue it.

It was the same nonchalantness of the “do you want to win” conversation. It gave me hope. It was no big deal, even I could do it if I worked hard enough.

Over my first year at Augie, I joined the school’s improv team, film-making club and took a screenwriting class. I enjoyed my classes and actually looked forward to chatting with professors about my work. I wanted to explore a different career and started a job at our local science museum part time as an events coordinator. I met a woman who would soon become mentor (and who has an EQUALLY long and hilarious story), Michele Darland. She took me under her wing and taught me everything I know about fundraising, event planning, wine (important), and how to advocate for myself as a woman in the workplace. She throws a fabulous party.

I was happier. My parents were happier, seeing me happier.

I kept competing in local competitions. Mostly because I wanted to hang out with the girls who did NOT bully me at Miss Illinois. My roommate at the next state competition was a very intimidating candidate who is now one of my best friends.

Nancy passed away during the pandemic at 83. Her daughter made sure there was a Miss Blackhawk Valley crown resting with her. I competed for Blackhawk Valley one more time later that years. My parents and two best friends were in the crowd. I sang ‘I’d Rather be Blue” in a giant blue ball gown that I OWNED. I talked about Disney, Illinois and becoming future New York Times Best Seller.

I won. (This time there were 12 girls, so take that). I thought Nancy would have been proud.

I interned at WABC-7 Local 4 News (there was DRAMA) and turned down the offer of to be a full time reporter.

I graduated from Augie and interned at ABC7 Chicago (WLS-TV), with the help of my Ad Sales friend. There I became good enough to intern for ABC7 New York (WABC-TV) wowee. I worked as a caterer on the weekends and scrolled through jobs boards for hours at a time.

When I saw the role of “Publicity Assistant” at Disney Theatrical Group (Disney on Broadway) on Linkedin, I couldn’t believe there was a job so perfect for me out there in the world. I emailed every connection I had ever made in The Walt Disney Company, in hopes that someone could flag my resume and get me to the first round of interviews.

My parents are everything. Every time I got another interview I would ask, “would it really be okay if I moved to New York?” They both would say yes. I don’t think they both actually thought it would happen, and truthfully neither did I.

When I was offered the position (after 7 rounds of interviews), my Dad drove to the library and came back with 11 books on New York City (mostly travel guides, some history) that same night. My Mom bought me pepper spray and knife (because you know I could stab someone if it came down to it).

When I spent the last night in my childhood bedroom (before I left and my mom would turn it into the craft rooms of all craft rooms) I could barely sleep thinking about this moment I’ve been waiting for my entire life. At the same time, my thoughts rotated back to how equally sad I was to leave my parents, Moline and my friends.

We shoved all of my suitcases into the RAV, then my Dad and road tripped from Illinois to New York City.

There’s a lot that happened after that.

I have been with Disney Theatrical Group in NYC for three years. I am currently Social Media Coordinator for Disney Theatrical Group (Disney on Broadway) I creates content, support marketing and publicity campaigns and analyze all digital presence for DTG productions worldwide.

I started Women@Work with Nancy and the many other women who poured into me on my career journey as the inspiration. They believed in me. Many smart, accomplished woman listened to me, and told me the pursuits of my happiness mattered and more importantly, told me they were possible.

The purpose of this initiative is the give the compassion, empathy and guidance that Nancy and them showed me to other young women to achieve the impossible. The power of mentorship, community and transparency can change lives.

What a long winded way to tell people I started a blog.